About the Author

A Few Things About Me

  • Jayne is my real name, Lyons is not – but no-one can spell my real name so I use this instead.
  • I was born in Liverpool, in the UK, just over 21 years ago.
  • I have two lovely sisters called Faye and Anna, who make me cry with laughter.
  • I have a husband called Angus who tells the same jokes over and over and I laugh every time.
  • I have a very lovely daughter called Rosie, who doesn’t get the jokes.
  • I now live in Australia.

Things I love

  • My Family
  • Writing books
  • Watching Films
  • Playing tennis – although I’m rubbish
  • Beautiful hills and valleys
  • Cooking and eating
  • Dark chocolate
  • Singing and dancing
  • Laughing with my friends

Things I hate

  • Brussels sprouts – had to sneak them home from school lunch in my pockets.
  • Mushy peas – very soggy in pockets
  • Broad beans – yuk
  • Dumplings – vomit
  • Kidneys – puke
  • Eggs – revolting
  • Butter -urgg
  • Fussy people – I would never fuss so much

Things that make me laugh

  • Farts – especially by someone who thinks they’re important
  • Australia’s funniest videos
  • My sisters – they are so silly
  • Rosie when she doesn’t get her dad’s jokes.
  • Her dad’s bad jokes
  • Personalised number plates on cars.
  • Silly names. – Like Jane Butthead (she really did exist!) and Mr Ladygoose.

Things that scare me

  • Huntsman spiders.
  • Crocodiles
  • Sharks
  • Jellyfish
  • Blue ringed octopus
  • Red backs
  • But worst than all of these are clowns!

Author Bio